Christians must become members of the tribe of Issachar, a tribe which had an "understanding of the times to know what ... to do."

Edward L. Shirley, of the Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies at St. Edward's University, has collected over the years actual, bona fide newspaper headlines.

- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Drunk gets nine months in violin case
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Teacher strikes idle kids
- Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
- Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years

Shirley's collection of noteworthy news is both silly and startling. They let us conjure up ridiculous images in our mind's eye, but they are also fil…